标签: letter

Over the years I've seen a lot of 'Diaries belonging to the Cat' and 'To-do lists for the Dog' type messages going around the Internet, but this was a new one for me and it made me smile so I thought I'd share it...   Dear God: Is it on purpose our names are the same, only reversed?   Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?   Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story?   Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a Dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the 'Chrysler Eagle' the 'Chrysler Beagle'?   Dear God: If a Dog barks his head off in the forest and no human is there to hear him, is he still a bad Dog?   Dear God: We Dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?   Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?   Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good Dog.   1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up. 2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell. 3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar. 4. The sofa is not a 'face towel'. 5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff. 6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet. 7. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying 'hello'. 8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table 9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house – not after. 10. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt across the carpet. 11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch. 12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing. P.S. Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?