标签: shocks

My chum Rick Curl went to see me in my office about a week ago. We had both decided that we desperately needed some face-to-face time to talk about the current Doctor Who (our feelings are mixed at the moment), and also to try to wrap our brains around the implications of the last episode of the current season, which aired a couple of weeks ago (I'm still reeling from the multi-layered surprises).   Speaking of surprises, Rick presented me with one of his old high-school science projects. (My understanding is that he's having a clear out -- getting this out of his house will make his wife happy, and I think Rick thought that having it in my office would guarantee that it would be lovingly displayed.)     This is a bit of a monster, being about three feet wide. It features an old telephone selector along with a bunch of relays. These relays are a mixed bag -- some switch really quickly to handle the pulses from a telephone dial (which used to be plugged into a connector, but which has become lost in the mists of time), while others have delays to handle the gaps between digits. The whole thing is something of a wonder -- especially for a junior at high school -- I'm not surprised to hear that Rick won first prize for this project.   During his clear out, Rick had also discovered a stack of around 1,000 brochures he'd had printed ages ago. These list the Ten Commandments of Electronics , along with Rick's company's name and contact details. Rick thought I might be interested in these, so he brought a few for me to play with.     These are really rather clever -- in addition to being humorous, they also offer some very useful advice, as follows: Beware thee of the lightning that lurketh in an undischarged capacitor lest it cause thee to be bounced on thy buttocks in a most ungainly manner. Cause thou the switch that supplies large quantities of juice to be opened and thusly tagged so thy days may be long and fruitful upon this earthly vale of tears. Prove unto thyself that all circuits that radiateth and upon which thou worketh are grounded lest they lift thee to high-frequency potential and cause thee to radiateth also. Take care that thou useth the proper method when thou taketh the measure of high-voltage circuits in order that thou doth not incinerate both thee and thy meter; for verily, though thou hath no account number and canst be easily replaced, thy meter doth have such a number and -- as a consequence -- its loss will bringeth much woe unto the supply department. Tarry thou not amongst those who engage in intentional electric shocks, for they are surely nonbelievers and are not long for this world. Take care that thou tampereth not with interlocks and other safety devices, for this will incur the wrath of thy seniors and bringeth the fury of the safety officer down upon thy head and shoulders. Worketh thou not on energized equipment, for -- if thou doeth -- thy buddies will surely be purchasing beers for thy widow and consoling her in ways not generally acceptable to thee. Verily I say unto thee, never service high-voltage equipment alone, for electric cooking is a slothful process and thou might sizzle in thine own fat for hours before thy Maker sees fit to drag thee unto His fold. Trifle thou not with radioactive tubes and substances lest thou commence to glow in the dark like a lightning bug and thy wife be frustrated nightly and have no further use for thee (excepting thy wage). Commitest to thine memory the words of the prophets, which are written in the instruction manuals, which giveth the straight dope, and which guideth thee such that thou will not maketh any mistakes.   The funny thing is that Rick says he no longer remembers where he discovered these commandments or who wrote them in the first place, but when he recently performed a search on the Internet, he discovered that several people had attributed them to him.   Now, looking at the above commandments, are there any additional ones you think we should have? If so, please post them as comments below.

My chum Rick Curl dropped into my office several days ago. We had both decided that we desperately needed some face-to-face time to talk about the current Doctor Who (our feelings are mixed at the moment), and also to try to wrap our brains around the implications of the last episode of the current season, which aired a couple of weeks ago (I'm still reeling from the multi-layered surprises).   Speaking of surprises, Rick presented me with one of his old high-school science projects. (My understanding is that he's having a clear out -- getting this out of his house will make his wife happy, and I think Rick thought that having it in my office would guarantee that it would be lovingly displayed.)     This is a bit of a monster, being about three feet wide. It features an old telephone selector along with a bunch of relays. These relays are a mixed bag -- some switch really quickly to handle the pulses from a telephone dial (which used to be plugged into a connector, but which has become lost in the mists of time), while others have delays to handle the gaps between digits. The whole thing is something of a wonder -- especially for a junior at high school -- I'm not surprised to hear that Rick won first prize for this project.   During his clear out, Rick had also discovered a stack of around 1,000 brochures he'd had printed ages ago. These list the Ten Commandments of Electronics , along with Rick's company's name and contact details. Rick thought I might be interested in these, so he brought a few for me to play with.     These are really rather clever -- in addition to being humorous, they also offer some very useful advice, as follows: Beware thee of the lightning that lurketh in an undischarged capacitor lest it cause thee to be bounced on thy buttocks in a most ungainly manner. Cause thou the switch that supplies large quantities of juice to be opened and thusly tagged so thy days may be long and fruitful upon this earthly vale of tears. Prove unto thyself that all circuits that radiateth and upon which thou worketh are grounded lest they lift thee to high-frequency potential and cause thee to radiateth also. Take care that thou useth the proper method when thou taketh the measure of high-voltage circuits in order that thou doth not incinerate both thee and thy meter; for verily, though thou hath no account number and canst be easily replaced, thy meter doth have such a number and -- as a consequence -- its loss will bringeth much woe unto the supply department. Tarry thou not amongst those who engage in intentional electric shocks, for they are surely nonbelievers and are not long for this world. Take care that thou tampereth not with interlocks and other safety devices, for this will incur the wrath of thy seniors and bringeth the fury of the safety officer down upon thy head and shoulders. Worketh thou not on energized equipment, for -- if thou doeth -- thy buddies will surely be purchasing beers for thy widow and consoling her in ways not generally acceptable to thee. Verily I say unto thee, never service high-voltage equipment alone, for electric cooking is a slothful process and thou might sizzle in thine own fat for hours before thy Maker sees fit to drag thee unto His fold. Trifle thou not with radioactive tubes and substances lest thou commence to glow in the dark like a lightning bug and thy wife be frustrated nightly and have no further use for thee (excepting thy wage). Commitest to thine memory the words of the prophets, which are written in the instruction manuals, which giveth the straight dope, and which guideth thee such that thou will not maketh any mistakes.   The funny thing is that Rick says he no longer remembers where he discovered these commandments or who wrote them in the first place, but when he recently performed a search on the Internet, he discovered that several people had attributed them to him.   Now, looking at the above commandments, are there any additional ones you think we should have? If so, please post them as comments below.