标签: typewriters

Have you ever read any of those amazing church bulletins peppered with Freudian (sorry, I mean typewriter) slips? Well, all I can say is "Thank Goodness for church ladies with typewriters." The following items featuring some classic BLOOPERS actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services: * The Fasting and Prayer Conference includes meals. * The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus." * Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands. * Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you. * Don't let worry kill you off—let the Church help. * Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation. * For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs. * Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get. * Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days. * A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow. * At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice. * Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones. * Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children. * Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered. * The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility. * Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM – prayer and medication to follow. * The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon. * This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin. * Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done. * The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday. * Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door. * The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy. * Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance. * The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge – Up Yours." If you run across any more little gems like these, please feel free to share them with the rest of us...  

  Of particular interest to us is the fact that an analysis of the average typewritten document reveals that the usage of the alpha keys by row is as follows (note that these values exclude the use of the numeric and punctuation keys): - Top row (Q, W, E, R, ...) = 52% - Middle row (A, S, D, F, ...) = 32% - Bottom row (Z, X, C, V, ...) = 16% Thus, it becomes apparent that users' fingers spend only around one third of the time in their root position on the home row; the rest of the time they are stretching and straining to reach the keys on the other rows. Now, just in case you feel that the QWERTY keyboard is an unduly harsh punishment that's been sent to try us – it's worth remembering that the early users had a much harder time than we do, not the least that they couldn't even see what they were typing! This was due to the fact that the first typewriters struck the paper from the underside, which obliged their operators to raise the carriage whenever they wished to see what had just been typed, and so-called visible-writing machines didn't become available until 1883. And finally, before we leap into the next topic, some additional points of interest are as follows: - Sholes craftily ensured that the word "Typewriter" could be constructed using only the top row of letters. This was intended to aid salesmen when they were giving demonstrations. - The terms uppercase and lowercase were handed down to us by the printing industry, from the compositors' practice of storing the type for capital letters and small letters in two separate cases. When working at the type-setting table, the compositors invariably kept the capital letters and small letters in the upper and lower cases, respectively; hence, uppercase and lowercase. Prior to this, scholars referred to capital letters as majuscules and small letters as minuscules, while everyone else simply called them capital letters and small letters. - Nothing's simple in this world. For example, instead of the top row of characters saying QWERTY, keyboards in France and Germany spell out AZERTY and QWERTZU, respectively. The Dvorak keyboard Almost anyone who spends more than a few seconds working with a QWERTY keyboard quickly becomes convinced that they could do a better job of laying out the keys. Many brave souls have attempted the task, but few came closer than efficiency expert August Dvorak in the 1930s. When he turned his attention to the typewriter, Dvorak spent many tortuous months analyzing the usage model of the QWERTY keyboard (now there's a man who knew how to have a good time). The results of his investigation were that, although the majority of users were right-handed, the existing layout forced the weaker left hand (and the weaker fingers on both hands) to perform most of the work. Also, as discussed in the previous topic, thanks to Sholes' main goal of physically separating letters that are commonly typed together, the typist's fingers were obliged to move in awkward patterns and only ended up spending 32% of their time on the home row. Dvorak took the opposite tack to Sholes, and attempted to find the optimal placement for the keys based on letter frequency and human anatomy. That is, he tried to ensure that letters which are commonly typed together would be physically close to each other, and also that the (usually) stronger right hand would perform the bulk of the work, while the left hand would have control of the vowels and the lesser-used characters. The result of these labors was the Dvorak Keyboard, which he patented in 1936:   In reality, Dvorak's keyboard also included shift keys, but these are omitted from this illustration for reasons of clarity. The results of Dvorak's innovations were tremendously effective, because the usage of the alpha keys by row is as follows (once again, these values exclude the use of the numeric and punctuation keys): - Top row (P, Y, F, G, ...) = 22% - Middle row (A, O, E, U, ...) = 70% - Bottom row (Q, J, K, X, ...) = 8% Thus, using Dvorak's layout, the typist's fingers spend 70% of their time on the home row and 80% of this time on their home keys. Thus, as compared to the approximately 120 words that can be constructed from the home row keys of the QWERTY keyboard, it is possible to construct more than 3,000 words on Dvorak's home row (or 10,000 words if you're talking to someone who's trying to sell you one). Also, Dvorak's scheme reduces the motion of the hands by a factor of three and improves typing accuracy and speed by approximately 50%, and 20%, respectively. Unfortunately, Dvorak didn't really stand a chance trying to sell typewriters based on his new keyboard layout in the 1930s. Apart from the fact that existing typists didn't wish to re-learn their trade, America was in the heart of the depression, which meant that the last thing anyone wanted to do was to spend money on a new typewriter. In fact, the Dvorak keyboard might have faded away forever, except that enthusiasts in Oregon, USA, formed a club in 1978, and they've been actively promoting Dvorak's technique ever since. Coupled with the ability to re-configure computer keyboards (as discussed later in this document), their activities have reawakened interest in the Dvorak keyboard, to the extent that it is now used by a few businesses and educational establishments. I'm sorry. I'll stop now. I could waffle on about this stuff for hours (be afraid, be very afraid). And don't even think about getting me started talking about the printing Telegraph, the advent of the Teleprinter, and the origin of the computer keyboard...