原创 Having a whey with curds

“Poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese.”
-- G. K. Chesterton

"The mome rath isn't born that could outgrabe me!"
-- Nicol Williamson

"Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy when toasted and taste good with ketchup."
-- Anonymous

"It's sometimes difficult to determine if quotes found on the internet are genuine or not."
-- Abraham Lincoln.

It's the first quote that's of interest to us here. Until I ran across this quote, it hadn’t really struck me that consumables like cheese tend to "fly under the radar" when it comes to things like poetry, presumably because poets are too busy trying to count the ways in which they love me.

As an aside, this reminds me of a classic joke by the British comedian and magician Tommy Cooper as follows:

I went into a French restaurant and asked the waiter, "Have you got frog's legs?" He said, "Yes", so I said, "Well hop into the kitchen and get me a cheese sandwich."

Ah, you can't beat the old jokes, can you? But we digress. I just received an email from my chum, publicity and marketing guru Alexandra Sorton, who said "I have the solution to your lack of cheese-related poetry!"

Alex then proceeded to point me at this website that provides links to cheese blogs, cheese education, cheese events, cheese organizations, cheese podcasts, and ... yes, you guessed it ... cheese poetry.

But wait, there's more, because if you visit the AllPoetry.com website, you can find poems covering just about any topic you can think of, including fermented dairy products.

The thing about the Internet is that there's so much of it. I then ran across the Cheese.com website, where we discover that -- in addition to cows, sheep, and goats -- cheese can also be made out of the milk from other mammals, including buffalo, reindeer, camels, and yaks.

In turn, this reminds me of the laugh-out-loud dogs' milk episode from one of my all-time favorite science fiction comedy programs, Red Dwarf.

It turns out that they are running short of supplies, and that they are now reduced to drinking dogs' milk. The ship's computer explains the many advantages of dogs' milk, ending with the fact that it lasts longer than any other type of milk.

Our hero, Dave Lister, asks why this should be. I only hope you aren’t drinking a glass of milk yourself when you hear the answer, otherwise you might find it shooting out of your nose.