原创 Share your tales about airports and airline

I just returned from a business trip to New York. I thought I'd booked myself on American Airlines, but when I tried to use the self-check-in machine on the outbound journey it said it didn’t recognize me, and there was no one behind the counter to ask.

Eventually I read the small print on my itinerary and found the part that said "American Airlines Flight xxx (Operated by US Airways Express-PSA Airlines)."

"Hmmm," I thought to myself (or words to that effect) as I toddled over to the US Airways desk. After checking in, I wended my weary way to the gate. Sad to relate, the plane arrived late, although the message board cheerfully proclaimed that everything was on schedule.

We eventually boarded the plane to discover that US Airways is saving money by having the passengers clean their seats for themselves; it's only sad that this wasn't reflected in the price of the ticket. And is it just me, but are the seats themselves -- and the spacing between rows -- really getting smaller on a flight-by-flight basis?

But we digress... we taxied out onto the runway, sat around for an hour or so, and then returned to the terminal to disembark while they handled some maintenance issue.

Now, I have no problem with this. Things go wrong and they need to be sorted. Also, I would far rather they found and fixed the problem while we were on the ground than when we're in the air. In fact, to be perfectly honest, I hadn’t even realized that we hadn’t taken off until they made the announcement that we weren't going to take off (just put me in a corner with a good book and you can forget about me for hours as I drift off into Max's World, where the colors are brighter, the butterflies are bigger, the birds sing sweeter, and the beer is plentiful and cold).

Having said all this, it does rather frazzle one's nerves when one's schedule changes from a leisurely two-hour layover in Charlotte Douglas Airport, North Carolina, to a desperate 10 minute sprint through an unfamiliar airport to leap onto one's "American Airlines xxx (Operated by US Airways)" flight scant seconds before they close the doors.

Once I'd cleared the debris from my new little slice of heaven and squeezed myself into my seat (could it possibly be smaller than the previous offering?), I started to contemplate the chances that my luggage would arrive in New York. I really didn’t see any way the ground crew could have gotten my bag on board, and I was fully expecting to have to make an emergency shopping trip that evening, so all credit to US Airways that my bag did indeed manage to arrive with me.

A couple of days later it was time to return home. The first leg of my return flight was scheduled to leave New York's JFK Airport at 10:30 a.m. I always like the get there at least two hours early, plus the traffic in New York is horrendous, so I ended up leaping out of bed with a song on my lips and joy in my heart at a brisk 6:00 a.m.

Once I'd checked in for my flight, which was billed as "American Airlines xxx (Operated by Envoy Air as American Eagle)" -- is it just me, or are they simply adding multiple layers of misdirection? -- I sauntered over to my gate, only to discover that someone had mislaid the plane and the pilot, so my departure time had been pushed back by two hours. Once again, my forthcoming layover -- this time in Washington DC's Ronald Regan National Airport -- was originally scheduled for two hours, so after performing a prodigious piece of mental math I came to the conclusion that a two-hour delay on takeoff would give me zero minutes to make my connection.

When we eventually waved a fond farewell to JFK airport, the pilot assured us that he would do his utmost to make up some time, and we did indeed manage to land and reach the gate 15 minutes before my connecting flight was due to depart. Being young and foolish, I even dared to hope that all might be OK, except that our plane's doors remained resolutely closed. After about 10 minutes, the pilot explained that our early arrival had taken the gate crew by surprise (and you wonder why I drink!).

After we'd eventually been allowed to disembark and drag ourselves across the tarmac to a building reminiscent of a disused hanger that would have been a credit to any airstrip on a remote Greek island, I showed the gate agent my ticket and asked where gate xxx was. She explained that I was already there and told me to sit down until I was called.

"O frabjous day!" I thought as I settled myself into a chair. Well, I call it a chair, but I fear its creator had not been graced with much instruction with regard to human anatomy and/or the main desirable features associated with such an artifact. Either that or he/she doesn’t particularly like people and is determined to make us suffer.

As all feeling started to fade from my nether regions, I glanced outside to watch a small plane taxi away from the building, and then turned my attention to the "Arrivals and Departures" board to discover that this little scamp -- now only a distant memory -- was the one I was supposed to be on. Had we disembarked as soon as we'd reached the gate, I would have made my connection and been happily sailing through the sky on my "American Airlines xxx (Operated by US Airways Express-Air Wisconsin)" flight. As it was, I couldn't even leap to my feet and wave my fist at an uncaring universe because the artifact laughingly presented as a chair had caused the lower half of my body to go to sleep.

Were I not a gentleman, there would have been much gnashing of teeth and rending of garb at this juncture, let me tell you. As it was, I ended up spending the next three hours meandering my way around a variety of cheerful "Please Excuse Our Progress" signs that told tall tales of the wonderful eating establishments that would one day tempt my taste buds and cater to my every desire -- just not today.

All this led me to contemplate some of the airports I have visited and the airlines I have flown. I do rather like the new Denver Airport, although it's located so far from Denver that almost any city in the Midwest could claim it as its own, but my favorite airport of all time has to be the one in Singapore. The worst airport? Well, I'm probably a tad biased at the moment; suffice it to say that Washington DC's Ronald Regan National Airport is not at the top of my list of places I wish to visit in the near future.

As to the quality of airlines, this seems to wax and wane as the years go by. I used to like American, but I'm a little jaded just at the moment. British Airways used to be a treat 20 years ago, but they haven’t had the pleasure of my company recently. I did fly Virgin Atlantic a couple of months ago, and I have to say they were rather good. My fondest memory was flying Singapore Airlines. Once again, this must have been 20 years ago now, but at that time I was tremendously impressed by the planes, pilots, cabin staff, and food.

How about you? Have you any tales to tell about airports and airlines you would like to either praise and recommend or castigate and denounce?